Friends not Foes

As I mentioned in a previous post, we women are quite insecure and often compete with every woman we run into in the grocery store, restaurant and even the elevator. But this morning to my surprise a step was made closer to squashing the competitiveness among women.

Completing my usually Sunday routine of grabbing coffee across the street, I was heading into the elevator with a lovely young lady who has just looked like she worked out. She instantly said “Good morning” to me and we exchanged the polite “how are you” small talk. She even asked for my floor and pushed the button for me. As we rode up, I was thinking how I could say that I was jealous of her motivation to work out a Sunday morning. But in my head I opted for the “Have a good day.” As we reached my floor, she beat me to the punch line, presenting me with a lovely smile and a (what I thought to be) sincere “Have a good day.”


We could have eyed each other, passed judgement on our looks or anything for that matter, but we didn’t. We simply brought a pleasant smile to one another’s face. A great start to a Sunday morning and a small step in the right direction.


Having it all together.

As women we never feel that we have it all together even when our hair is perfectly placed and we are adorning a cute outfit – doesn’t matter, not even in the slightest. We can still feel like crap, like why did we even put in the effort to get ready this morning. Should have just rolled out in my pajama pants and t-shirt to greet the world. This all makes me believe even more that Beth Moore was dead on in her must-read So Long Insecurity: you’ve been a bad friend to us. That perfectly quaff woman who each of us envy so much probably has days when she feels like crap and wonders to herself why she even bothered to get ready.

It is the mentality and cliché that the grass is always greener on the other side, while our grass is gross, disgusting burnt-out why would any man ever want this lawn. And when we see that quaff woman on the street corner or in the next office, desk, bar stool, church pew, etc., not only do we become absolutely envious, we decide we hate her. We don’t even know her, don’t even know what scars her heart but we have already made up our minds to hate her. And we say it so casually to our girlfriends who more often than not agree with us.

So while our society is throwing out every kind of unrealistic image and expectation of women and we are becoming bull-dozed day in and out with how we should be and look, we are only taking it one step further when we put ourselves in competition with every woman in the room. Think about it. Every time you walk into a crowded room what is one of the first things you do (besides tightly cling to your man if you are with one)? You size up the competition and see where you fit in with the rest. And to make it even worse, you base your confidence and self-esteem for that night on how attractive, smart, educated, etc., you are in comparison to the other women.

Instead of constantly clawing at one another, we should be lifting one another up, collaborating, fighting the status–quo, instead of staying Mean Girls well into our twenties. Wasn’t high school enough?

Challenge: The next time before you feel like judging and hating on a woman take a deep breathe and say a prayer for her and whatever insecurities of her own she might be facing at the moment.

If doing it for ourselves and adult women isn’t enough to challenge our society, we should also consider our younger sisters, nieces, daughters and future daughters.

Portrayal of Teenage Women in Popular Media

As promised in my previous post, here is my State of the Art Essay that focuses on literature pertaining to the topic of the portrayal of teenage women in popular media. My passion to help girls realize that they are more than just pretty faces has definitely been validated by many of the negative effects that media can have on a girl’s self-image and worth.

In my paper, you can also see comments from my professor, as it indicated I have much to prove upon!

State of the Art Essay


It has been too long since I have posted on this blog and I have had so many good opportunities to share information relevant to the readers and this blog’s messages. Unfortunately, I have not taken the time to do that.

In my mass communications class for my master’s program this semester, we were required to pick  a topic and accomplish three distinct literature reviews on the research that pertained to our topic. At the end of the literature reviews, we are required to write a state of the art paper – basically summing up all the research, where are the gaps and where should the research be heading. – I still need to write the paper.

My topic: The portrayal of teenage women in popular media.

Some of my findings were “okay, I know that.” I know that advertising on television and magazines makes girls have negative self-images and I absolutely despise that. Other things surprised me like the mixed reaction to Sex and the City.

At a point, where I have more time, I plan to post my final paper because it really will bring to light why this topic is so important to me.

Between working full-time and going to grad school, it has been difficult to keep up with this blog. By my passion for making women and girls feel more than just a pretty face and realize their full potential never goes away.

Hopefully, when the new year starts, I will have more time to blog!

The “B” word.

No, not that “B” word. Another one has surfaced throughout the conversations and decisions among many young adults and even teenagers: BOTOX. An overwhelming number of young adults and teenagers are using Botox  to enhance their looks. Is this going to far? Read the full article HERE and please share your thoughts.

How to be Beautiful.

Put down your mascara and step away from the sales-rack. You don’t need perfect make-up or the perfect pair of jeans to feel beautiful (while there is nothing wrong with feeling beautiful on the outside), lasting beauty is in your heart and actions.

Here is a list of 35 simple ways to feel beautiful.

30 before 30

A fun read for girls in their 20’s (which includes me and most of my friends.)

There are some real good and funny tips in here.


This one I can relate to.

paranormal bad boy…

I admit it. I love Twilight. I went on Friday to see Eclipse with one of my very best friends and yes, we giggled the whole time (we are girls – yes, I make stereotypical comments occasionally).

But are the paranomal bad boys that show up in movies such as Twilight signifying more than we think?

One writer proposes some ideas of her own…

“Many women today are juggling jobs, families, relationships, school or other responsibilities, not leaving much room for themselves. A fictional hero gifted with mystical abilities, lethal sexiness and a razor-sharp wit is the ultimate fantasy package.”

READ ARTICLE – share your thoughts. Think a little.

“Chivalry is dead, but your still kind of cute.”

I am a firm believer that women are independent and can be independent. I believe that women are more than a pretty face (purpose of my blog) and have great potential. But I also believe in chivarly and that men treat women like ladies. There is nothing sweeter than a man holding a door for woman and making her feel special. And women, we are able to be independent and awesome, but still allow a man to do his thing.


Chick Flicks

I am a huge fan of chick flicks. I love them. I love watching people fall in love and the impossible becoming possible.

best friends learning they are really in love and meant to be, proposals only you can dream of, the perfect first time…

Unfortunately the downside to chick flicks is the unrealistic expectations of love they set for many girls. Unless you are able to completely set aside reality from fiction, you are setting up your love life up for major disappointments.

Check out Times list of the top 10 worst chick flicks. (note: there are movies on this list that I like.)

One that I believe should be on this list is He’s just not that into you. This movie bothers me because I expected it to follow the title and actually have an ending where the girl did not end up with the guy, but it is Hollywood and a chick flick, so of course she did.

Many people think it is just a movie, you are reading way to much into it. But take a moment and think about where your love life expecations come from.

Two realisitc movies I appreciate: Up in the Air and The Breakup.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to fall in love and have magical moments, but I want to pair those expectations with reality.

Thoughts? Do share.