Having it all together.

As women we never feel that we have it all together even when our hair is perfectly placed and we are adorning a cute outfit – doesn’t matter, not even in the slightest. We can still feel like crap, like why did we even put in the effort to get ready this morning. Should have just rolled out in my pajama pants and t-shirt to greet the world. This all makes me believe even more that Beth Moore was dead on in her must-read So Long Insecurity: you’ve been a bad friend to us. That perfectly quaff woman who each of us envy so much probably has days when she feels like crap and wonders to herself why she even bothered to get ready.

It is the mentality and cliché that the grass is always greener on the other side, while our grass is gross, disgusting burnt-out why would any man ever want this lawn. And when we see that quaff woman on the street corner or in the next office, desk, bar stool, church pew, etc., not only do we become absolutely envious, we decide we hate her. We don’t even know her, don’t even know what scars her heart but we have already made up our minds to hate her. And we say it so casually to our girlfriends who more often than not agree with us.

So while our society is throwing out every kind of unrealistic image and expectation of women and we are becoming bull-dozed day in and out with how we should be and look, we are only taking it one step further when we put ourselves in competition with every woman in the room. Think about it. Every time you walk into a crowded room what is one of the first things you do (besides tightly cling to your man if you are with one)? You size up the competition and see where you fit in with the rest. And to make it even worse, you base your confidence and self-esteem for that night on how attractive, smart, educated, etc., you are in comparison to the other women.

Instead of constantly clawing at one another, we should be lifting one another up, collaborating, fighting the status–quo, instead of staying Mean Girls well into our twenties. Wasn’t high school enough?

Challenge: The next time before you feel like judging and hating on a woman take a deep breathe and say a prayer for her and whatever insecurities of her own she might be facing at the moment.

If doing it for ourselves and adult women isn’t enough to challenge our society, we should also consider our younger sisters, nieces, daughters and future daughters.

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